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“And the light of his countenance
did shine upon them”
It was a general priesthood session, and
I was watching the satellite broadcast at the Stake Center.
I was sitting on the last row in the chapel, by the door.
I don’t remember the year. I do remember
being touched by the Spirit. I was alone because my boys
weren’t yet old enough to join me. I felt alone.
My addiction to pornography had steadily grown with
increased travel demands and almost constant use of the
Internet in my career. It wasn’t even a vague
thought when I entered the building, but after the session I
asked Bishop Larsen if we could meet sometime for a temple
recommend interview. “How about now?”, he
asked. We stepped into his office and began. I
interrupted him halfway through the first question.
“I have a problem with pornography, Bishop.
And masturbation.”
It had been very difficult for me to get
into that office, but once there the words came easily enough.
Afterwards I stepped out of his office to find my wife
walking down the hall. We had arranged for her to pick me
up after the session. I don’t remember why, but
I’ll never forget what she said. “You look
different. It looks like your face is glowing.”
She didn’t know that I had just confessed to the
ongoing sin that plagued my life. And I don’t
believe that what she saw was just my expression or even the
very real relief that I felt in sharing my burden. I
believe that with the repentance process begun, the spirit was
able to attend me and it had manifested itself as a physical
difference in the way I looked.
In other words, my countenance shined.
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